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Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Good
Scratched
Spots
Reach
Married
Especially
Back
Reason
Hard

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I envisioned huge piles of the Elf Hotel flying off the belt, taking down everybody in sight. I had seen pictures of that Elf Hotel - it had sharp candy-cane spires that could easily impale someone. If anyone was ever going to be killed by an Elf Hotel, it would be my parents.
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I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.
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Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
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A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.
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Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
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