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Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Back
Reason
Hard
Good
Scratched
Spots
Reach
Married
Especially
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.
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I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
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A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.
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I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
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One question, I said. Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die? No, he said. It's because you're doing something brave, and I felt I should too. I'll take that as a yes, I said.
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Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
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People always say they can't do things, that they're impossible. They just haven't been creative enough.
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Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.
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Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
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The truth was that she had managed to betray everyone by doing nothing. No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong. Not cheating on a non-boyfriend with the non-boyfriend of a friend. The pressure of thinking that one through made her swollen body ache.
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You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
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When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.
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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
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Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland? Keith asked... you all think you're Irish. What's the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lepĀrechaun.
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I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
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Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like tangentially Swedish is not the best way to go.
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What tinfoil? he asked.
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She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall. Stephen coughed a little. Just giving advice, Callum said.
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The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
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No one hid their interest when I walked into the room. I'm not sure if it was the news about Boo or my general appearance. At home, people would have asked. People would have been crawling all over me for information. At Wexford, they seemed to extract what they wanted to know by covert staring.
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