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Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Reach
Married
Especially
Back
Reason
Hard
Good
Scratched
Spots

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Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
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Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.
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Fear can't hurt you, she said. When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.
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English rain feels obligatory, like paperwork. It dampens already damn days and slicks the stones.
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You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.
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Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.
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Before I take you into the beating heart of the story, let’s get one thing out of the way. I know from experience that when it comes up later, it will distract you so much that you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else I will tell you. My name is Jubilee Dougal. Take a moment and let it sink in.
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These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
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She was standing in the airport of Copenhagen, staring at a doorway, trying to figure out if it was (a) a bathroom and (b) what kind of bathroom it was. The door merely said H. Was she an H? Was H hers? It could just as easily be his. Or Helicopter Room: Not a Bathroom at All
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She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall. Stephen coughed a little. Just giving advice, Callum said.
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Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.
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It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
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The essay I had to read was called, An Essay on Criticism by Alexander Pope. The first challenge was that the essay was, in fact, a very long poem in heroic couplets. If something is called an essay, it should be an essay.
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I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
Maureen Johnson
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I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.
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Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland? Keith asked... you all think you're Irish. What's the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun.
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I like to talk. Talking is kind of my thing. If talking had been a sport option at Wexford, I would have been captain. But sports always have to involve running, jumping, or swinging your arms around. You don’t get PE points for the smooth and rapid movement of the jaw.
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
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You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
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I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.
Maureen Johnson