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Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Ripper
Jack
Pulled
Gone
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
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Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact. If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.
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I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.
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Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
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With that, I splashed some water on my face, fixed on a smile, and stepped out. I would find Jerome. I would make him explain to me what I was missing. We would laugh, then we would kiss with tongue, and all would be well.
Maureen Johnson
And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.
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I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
Maureen Johnson
What tinfoil? he asked.
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I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.
Maureen Johnson
They weren't pressed together as closely as normal, but his shoulder bumped hers, then remained there. It was very subtle, and possibly even accidental, but it was enough.
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Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
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Did you hear? he asked. They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely. Good morning, I replied. Morning. Listen to this. The second victim.
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She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall. Stephen coughed a little. Just giving advice, Callum said.
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The essay I had to read was called, An Essay on Criticism by Alexander Pope. The first challenge was that the essay was, in fact, a very long poem in heroic couplets. If something is called an essay, it should be an essay.
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This is England, he explained. Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great natural resources.
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A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
Maureen Johnson
Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
Maureen Johnson
We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.
Maureen Johnson
New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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