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This is England, he explained. Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great natural resources.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Resources
Natural
Tell
Someone
Procedure
Great
Procedures
Believe
Pointless
Explained
England
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.
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These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
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She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
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Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
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Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about this. Fetal position turned out to be very comfortable.
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No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
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I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
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I followed your footsteps, he said, in answer to the unspoken question. Snow makes it easy. I had been tracked, like a bear. Sorry to make you go to all that trouble, I said. I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops. A really inept bear.
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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
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Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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Tell me what you want, what you really, really want, he said. Braiiinnnnssss, we said in unison.
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I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.
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I guess life is full of maybes.
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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
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You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.
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Sometimes it is worth any amount of suffering just to prevent giving your parents the opportunity to be right.
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