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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Stabbed
Awkward
Makes
Everything
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.
Maureen Johnson
Money is for doing things, my love. Don't sit on it like a hen sits on an egg. It doesn't hatch. I should know. I've made enough of it.
Maureen Johnson
Sometimes artist like to catch themselves looking out, let the world see them for once. It's a signature. This one is a very bold one. But this is also a witnessing. We want to remember, and we want to be remembered. That's why we paint.
Maureen Johnson
I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.
Maureen Johnson
No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.
Maureen Johnson
I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.
Maureen Johnson
She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
Maureen Johnson
I am a mass of contradictions.
Maureen Johnson
Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.
Maureen Johnson
Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.
Maureen Johnson
We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.
Maureen Johnson
The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
Maureen Johnson
The locker at the end of her bed had no lock, and one of the hinges was busted. She opened it up. There was a thing in it. The thing might have been a sandwich at some point, or an animal, or a human hand...but what it was now was fuzzy and putrid. A minute later, Ginny was down the stairs, out the door, and gone.
Maureen Johnson
Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like tangentially Swedish is not the best way to go.
Maureen Johnson
Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
Maureen Johnson
Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
Maureen Johnson
Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
Maureen Johnson
You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
Maureen Johnson
These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
Maureen Johnson
I followed your footsteps, he said, in answer to the unspoken question. Snow makes it easy. I had been tracked, like a bear. Sorry to make you go to all that trouble, I said. I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops. A really inept bear.
Maureen Johnson