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What are you? I asked. I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams. And how long did it take you to come up with that? Jazza asked. I'm a busy man, he replied.

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Come
Take
Exams
Long
Exam
Men
Replied
Ghost
Busy
Asked
Night

More quotes by Maureen Johnson

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Ah, he said. I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.
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We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
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Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
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A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
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There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.
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Sometimes artist like to catch themselves looking out, let the world see them for once. It's a signature. This one is a very bold one. But this is also a witnessing. We want to remember, and we want to be remembered. That's why we paint.
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Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.
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Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
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Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.
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One question, I said. Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die? No, he said. It's because you're doing something brave, and I felt I should too. I'll take that as a yes, I said.
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
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With that, I splashed some water on my face, fixed on a smile, and stepped out. I would find Jerome. I would make him explain to me what I was missing. We would laugh, then we would kiss with tongue, and all would be well.
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I guess life is full of maybes.
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I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.
Maureen Johnson
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Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
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Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.
Maureen Johnson
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Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
Maureen Johnson
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Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.
Maureen Johnson