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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Stuart
Hear
Break
Tell
Going
Something
Really

More quotes by Maureen Johnson

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But we made our own fun, mostly. I recall a time, many years later, when American children seemed unable to amuse themselves without a fortune in electrical and electronic equipment. We had no fancy equipment and did not miss it.
Maureen Johnson
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A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.
Maureen Johnson
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Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
Maureen Johnson
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Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.
Maureen Johnson
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She was standing in the airport of Copenhagen, staring at a doorway, trying to figure out if it was (a) a bathroom and (b) what kind of bathroom it was. The door merely said H. Was she an H? Was H hers? It could just as easily be his. Or Helicopter Room: Not a Bathroom at All
Maureen Johnson
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Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
Maureen Johnson
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I am a mass of contradictions.
Maureen Johnson
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I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.
Maureen Johnson
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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
Maureen Johnson
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New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.
Maureen Johnson
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This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.
Maureen Johnson
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What tinfoil? he asked.
Maureen Johnson
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Kissing is something that makes up for a lot of other crap you have to put up with...It can be confusing and weird and awkward, but sometimes it just makes you melt and forget everything that is going on.
Maureen Johnson
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She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall. Stephen coughed a little. Just giving advice, Callum said.
Maureen Johnson
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I envisioned huge piles of the Elf Hotel flying off the belt, taking down everybody in sight. I had seen pictures of that Elf Hotel - it had sharp candy-cane spires that could easily impale someone. If anyone was ever going to be killed by an Elf Hotel, it would be my parents.
Maureen Johnson
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I like to talk. Talking is kind of my thing. If talking had been a sport option at Wexford, I would have been captain. But sports always have to involve running, jumping, or swinging your arms around. You don’t get PE points for the smooth and rapid movement of the jaw.
Maureen Johnson
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A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
Maureen Johnson
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Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.
Maureen Johnson
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People always say they can't do things, that they're impossible. They just haven't been creative enough.
Maureen Johnson
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Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
Maureen Johnson