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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Really
Stuart
Hear
Break
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Something
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.
Maureen Johnson
Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
Maureen Johnson
They weren't pressed together as closely as normal, but his shoulder bumped hers, then remained there. It was very subtle, and possibly even accidental, but it was enough.
Maureen Johnson
Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
Maureen Johnson
I had one class in the morning, the mysteriously named Further Maths. It was two hours long and so deeply frightening that I think I went into a trance.
Maureen Johnson
We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.
Maureen Johnson
With that, I splashed some water on my face, fixed on a smile, and stepped out. I would find Jerome. I would make him explain to me what I was missing. We would laugh, then we would kiss with tongue, and all would be well.
Maureen Johnson
People always say they can't do things, that they're impossible. They just haven't been creative enough.
Maureen Johnson
No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.
Maureen Johnson
The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
Maureen Johnson
Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
Maureen Johnson
One person's crazy is another person's sane, I guess.
Maureen Johnson
It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
Maureen Johnson
Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
Maureen Johnson
Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
Maureen Johnson
Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
Maureen Johnson
Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.
Maureen Johnson
You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
Maureen Johnson
Did you hear? he asked. They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely. Good morning, I replied. Morning. Listen to this. The second victim.
Maureen Johnson
And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.
Maureen Johnson