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It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
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Downright
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Brevity
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Accidental
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Jokes
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
Fear can't hurt you, she said. When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.
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Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.
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No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.
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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
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Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
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Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.
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I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.
Maureen Johnson
Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about this. Fetal position turned out to be very comfortable.
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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Money is for doing things, my love. Don't sit on it like a hen sits on an egg. It doesn't hatch. I should know. I've made enough of it.
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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
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Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.
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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
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No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
Maureen Johnson
Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
Maureen Johnson
It was fine, I said stiffly. We played Mouse Trap. Is that what they're calling it these days? she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like! She stopped short of adding ...future child-bride of my only son.
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This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.
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I had always assumed the weekend was a holy tradition, respected by good people everywhere. Not so at Wexford.
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Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
Maureen Johnson