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Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Look
Immediately
Looks
Constant
Feel
Meaning
Feels
Word
Kind
State
Like
Forget
States
Live
Irony

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Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.
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Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact. If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.
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Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.
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You don't know me yet, I said. Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp, Charlotte said. That's right, I said, turning up my accent a little. These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet. Jerome gave a little snort.
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One question, I said. Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die? No, he said. It's because you're doing something brave, and I felt I should too. I'll take that as a yes, I said.
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I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
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Something about her suggested that her leisure activities included wrestling large woodland animals and banging bricks together.
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What tinfoil? he asked.
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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
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I am a mass of contradictions.
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
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No one hid their interest when I walked into the room. I'm not sure if it was the news about Boo or my general appearance. At home, people would have asked. People would have been crawling all over me for information. At Wexford, they seemed to extract what they wanted to know by covert staring.
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It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
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You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
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This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.
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I followed your footsteps, he said, in answer to the unspoken question. Snow makes it easy. I had been tracked, like a bear. Sorry to make you go to all that trouble, I said. I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops. A really inept bear.
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These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
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The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
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I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
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Did you hear? he asked. They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely. Good morning, I replied. Morning. Listen to this. The second victim.
Maureen Johnson