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Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Autograph
Autographs
Jack
Hey

More quotes by Maureen Johnson

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I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.
Maureen Johnson
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Do you ever sing in the car? Generally not. But I am driving a police car. I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic. You can talk for a long time about nothing. I certainly can, you charming man!
Maureen Johnson
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Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.
Maureen Johnson
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When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.
Maureen Johnson
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One of them hung a pink bra from our lighting fixture. I left it there. It was a nice bra
Maureen Johnson
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Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.
Maureen Johnson
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I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
Maureen Johnson
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I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
Maureen Johnson
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But we made our own fun, mostly. I recall a time, many years later, when American children seemed unable to amuse themselves without a fortune in electrical and electronic equipment. We had no fancy equipment and did not miss it.
Maureen Johnson
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Tell me what you want, what you really, really want, he said. Braiiinnnnssss, we said in unison.
Maureen Johnson
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This kind of thing always amazed Ginny--people who just walked away from institutions. People who left school when they didn't see the point. Aunt Peg had done that. Ginny knew she never would. That either made her someone who worked hard and finished things, or someone who didn't have the guts to break away from the pack. Maybe both.
Maureen Johnson
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Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
Maureen Johnson
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Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.
Maureen Johnson
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Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
Maureen Johnson
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Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note - kind of the sound I imagine a mermaid might make if you punched her in the face.
Maureen Johnson
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They weren't pressed together as closely as normal, but his shoulder bumped hers, then remained there. It was very subtle, and possibly even accidental, but it was enough.
Maureen Johnson
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We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.
Maureen Johnson
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This is England, he explained. Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great natural resources.
Maureen Johnson
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I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
Maureen Johnson
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The locker at the end of her bed had no lock, and one of the hinges was busted. She opened it up. There was a thing in it. The thing might have been a sandwich at some point, or an animal, or a human hand...but what it was now was fuzzy and putrid. A minute later, Ginny was down the stairs, out the door, and gone.
Maureen Johnson