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These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Follow
Crooked
Lines
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House
Houses
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Designed
Something
Whoever
Unevenly
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Wherever
Spaced
Cat
Alarming
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Randomness
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Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.
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I guess life is full of maybes.
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The essay I had to read was called, An Essay on Criticism by Alexander Pope. The first challenge was that the essay was, in fact, a very long poem in heroic couplets. If something is called an essay, it should be an essay.
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No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
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People always say they can't do things, that they're impossible. They just haven't been creative enough.
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Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
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You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.
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Do you ever sing in the car? Generally not. But I am driving a police car. I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic. You can talk for a long time about nothing. I certainly can, you charming man!
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Sometimes artist like to catch themselves looking out, let the world see them for once. It's a signature. This one is a very bold one. But this is also a witnessing. We want to remember, and we want to be remembered. That's why we paint.
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Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
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It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
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What tinfoil? he asked.
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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
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Something about her suggested that her leisure activities included wrestling large woodland animals and banging bricks together.
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You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
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Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
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Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland? Keith asked... you all think you're Irish. What's the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lepĀrechaun.
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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
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What are you? I asked. I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams. And how long did it take you to come up with that? Jazza asked. I'm a busy man, he replied.
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I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
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