Quote

Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

Maureen Johnson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Flirt
Flirting
Puppy
Dies
Trying
Every
Time

More quotes by Maureen Johnson

Image
You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.
Maureen Johnson
Image
These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
Maureen Johnson
Image
One person's crazy is another person's sane, I guess.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
Maureen Johnson
Image
I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Did you hear? he asked. They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely. Good morning, I replied. Morning. Listen to this. The second victim.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.
Maureen Johnson
Image
A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
Maureen Johnson
Image
No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
Maureen Johnson
Image
No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.
Maureen Johnson
Image
You don't know me yet, I said. Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp, Charlotte said. That's right, I said, turning up my accent a little. These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet. Jerome gave a little snort.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
Maureen Johnson
Image
She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Ah, he said. I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Sometimes it is worth any amount of suffering just to prevent giving your parents the opportunity to be right.
Maureen Johnson
Image
There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.
Maureen Johnson