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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Needs
Idea
Porn
Going
Ideas
Knock
Would
Firsts
Bed
Book
Theater
Need
Easier
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Books
Done
Talking
Important
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More quotes by Maureen Johnson
Dr. Everest, got up and gave us a little pep talk. Mostly it boiled down to the fact that it was autumn, and everyone was back, and while that was a great thing, people better not get cocky or misbehave or he'd personally kill us all. He didn't actually say those words, but that was the subtext.
Maureen Johnson
The locker at the end of her bed had no lock, and one of the hinges was busted. She opened it up. There was a thing in it. The thing might have been a sandwich at some point, or an animal, or a human hand...but what it was now was fuzzy and putrid. A minute later, Ginny was down the stairs, out the door, and gone.
Maureen Johnson
Money is for doing things, my love. Don't sit on it like a hen sits on an egg. It doesn't hatch. I should know. I've made enough of it.
Maureen Johnson
They weren't pressed together as closely as normal, but his shoulder bumped hers, then remained there. It was very subtle, and possibly even accidental, but it was enough.
Maureen Johnson
Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.
Maureen Johnson
Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
Maureen Johnson
It was fine, I said stiffly. We played Mouse Trap. Is that what they're calling it these days? she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like! She stopped short of adding ...future child-bride of my only son.
Maureen Johnson
Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact. If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.
Maureen Johnson
No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
Maureen Johnson
A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
Maureen Johnson
I followed your footsteps, he said, in answer to the unspoken question. Snow makes it easy. I had been tracked, like a bear. Sorry to make you go to all that trouble, I said. I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops. A really inept bear.
Maureen Johnson
She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
Maureen Johnson
Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
Maureen Johnson
Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about this. Fetal position turned out to be very comfortable.
Maureen Johnson
No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.
Maureen Johnson
Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
Maureen Johnson
Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
Maureen Johnson
Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.
Maureen Johnson
Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
Maureen Johnson
What are you? I asked. I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams. And how long did it take you to come up with that? Jazza asked. I'm a busy man, he replied.
Maureen Johnson