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Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like tangentially Swedish is not the best way to go.
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
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Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Happy
Phrases
Around
Campaign
Also
Throwing
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Campaigns
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Convince
Swedish
Like
Stranger
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Aren
Meal
Short
Meals
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One of them hung a pink bra from our lighting fixture. I left it there. It was a nice bra
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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
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Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
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What tinfoil? he asked.
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Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.
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I feel warm and reassured, I whispered. He's like Santa.
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I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.
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Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
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I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.
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I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.
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Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.
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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
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I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
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The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
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I guess life is full of maybes.
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Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland? Keith asked... you all think you're Irish. What's the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a leprechaun.
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I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
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