Quote

Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?

Maureen Johnson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Existence
Trip
Next
Sharp
Ever
Notice
Human
Snow
Humans
Train
Would
Moon
Vagaries
Worst
Amber
Head
Hilarious

More quotes by Maureen Johnson

Image
I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.
Maureen Johnson
Image
English rain feels obligatory, like paperwork. It dampens already damn days and slicks the stones.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.
Maureen Johnson
Image
A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Fear can't hurt you, she said. When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
Maureen Johnson
Image
These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
Maureen Johnson
Image
A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater. It would would be easier if you just said porn, Scarlett said. No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
Maureen Johnson
Image
Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.
Maureen Johnson
Image
Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.
Maureen Johnson
Image
It was fine, I said stiffly. We played Mouse Trap. Is that what they're calling it these days? she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like! She stopped short of adding ...future child-bride of my only son.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.
Maureen Johnson
Image
I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.
Maureen Johnson