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Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Ever
Notice
Human
Snow
Humans
Train
Would
Moon
Vagaries
Worst
Amber
Head
Hilarious
Existence
Trip
Next
Sharp
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She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.
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Something about this boat screamed, I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!
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I could envision it all to clearly: Stuart or Debbie finding the dented door off its hinges, lying in the snow. She came in, ravaged the boy, stole plastic bags, and ripped off the door in her escape, the police would say in the APB. Probably making her way to bust her parents out of jail.
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She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
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I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
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I guess life is full of maybes.
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What are you? I asked. I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams. And how long did it take you to come up with that? Jazza asked. I'm a busy man, he replied.
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I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.
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Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
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I feel warm and reassured, I whispered. He's like Santa.
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