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Oh my God! said one of the Ambers. Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow? She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?
Maureen Johnson
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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Next
Sharp
Ever
Notice
Snow
Human
Train
Humans
Moon
Vagaries
Would
Worst
Amber
Head
Hilarious
Existence
Trip
More quotes by Maureen Johnson
I am a mass of contradictions.
Maureen Johnson
But we made our own fun, mostly. I recall a time, many years later, when American children seemed unable to amuse themselves without a fortune in electrical and electronic equipment. We had no fancy equipment and did not miss it.
Maureen Johnson
The locker at the end of her bed had no lock, and one of the hinges was busted. She opened it up. There was a thing in it. The thing might have been a sandwich at some point, or an animal, or a human hand...but what it was now was fuzzy and putrid. A minute later, Ginny was down the stairs, out the door, and gone.
Maureen Johnson
You've never told me about your love life, Scarlett. You're a very pretty girl. You must have a boy shacked up somewhere for your personal delights. I'd bet it's a booky one, overtones of Harry Potter and a lot of black T-shirts.
Maureen Johnson
When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.
Maureen Johnson
Do you ever sing in the car? Generally not. But I am driving a police car. I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic. You can talk for a long time about nothing. I certainly can, you charming man!
Maureen Johnson
I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.
Maureen Johnson
Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
Maureen Johnson
I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.
Maureen Johnson
Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.
Maureen Johnson
Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.
Maureen Johnson
People always say they can't do things, that they're impossible. They just haven't been creative enough.
Maureen Johnson
Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.
Maureen Johnson
I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.
Maureen Johnson
What tinfoil? he asked.
Maureen Johnson
Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?
Maureen Johnson
With that, I splashed some water on my face, fixed on a smile, and stepped out. I would find Jerome. I would make him explain to me what I was missing. We would laugh, then we would kiss with tongue, and all would be well.
Maureen Johnson
You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.
Maureen Johnson
Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.
Maureen Johnson
It was fine, I said stiffly. We played Mouse Trap. Is that what they're calling it these days? she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like! She stopped short of adding ...future child-bride of my only son.
Maureen Johnson
