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Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.
Maureen Dowd
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Maureen Dowd
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: January 14
Columnist
Journalist
Washington
District of Columbia
Maureen Brigid Dowd
Evolving
Evolve
Personally
Decided
Stop
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As a woman, I know that if I write about another woman, it will be perceived as a catfight.
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Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve.
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Journalism, spooked by rumors of its own obsolescence, has stopped believing in itself. Groans of doom alternate with panicked happy talk.
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I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.
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Washington is a place where people have always been suspect of style and overt sexuality. Too much preening signals that you're not up late studying cap-and-trade agreements.
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When I need to work up my nerve to write a tough column, I try to think of myself as Emma Peel in a black leather catsuit.
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Women have become so obsessed with not withering, they've forgotten that there are infinite ways to be beautiful.
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The idea of American exceptionalism doesn't extend to Americans being exceptional.
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We are riveted by the soap operas of public lives. We admire the famous most for what makes them infamous: it reassures us that they are not better and no happier than all the people with their noses pressed hard against the glass.
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Even when conservatives have all the marbles, they still act as if they're under siege. Now that they are under siege, it is no time for them to act as if they're losing their marbles.
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The Republicans, with their crazed Reagan fixation, are a last-gasp party, living posthumously, fighting battles on sex, race, immigration and public education long ago won by the other side. They're trying to roll back the clock, but time is passing them by.
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Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month men have raging hormones every day.
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The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
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President Bush was once asked which Presidential speech he admired most. He replied that it was the one Teddy Roosevelt had in his pocket that had helped cushion the blow of a would-be assassin's bullet.
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The Clintons want to do big worthy things, but they also want to squeeze money from rich people wherever they live on planet Earth, insatiably gobbling up cash for politics and charity and themselves from the same incestuous swirl.
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Zingers should glow with intelligence as well as drip with contempt.
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Perpetual optimism is annoying. It is a sign that you are not paying attention.
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If wit is the most sophisticated form of humor, pranks are the most juvenile.
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I think Hillary Clinton's a very clever politician but she would be too easy to stereotype the way John Kerry was.
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