I'm more of a fisherman as opposed to a scientist perhaps and chasing the whale. But I've had some success.

If you’re not familiar with it, a college degree is a thing that we tell our kids to buy with money they don’t have, in hopes that it will help them make money they might earn, which will give them the ability to pay back the money they spent in order to make the money they’re paying it back with.

I didn’t marry The One, I married this one, and the two of us became one.

You cant be controlling in improv.

It's so pretentious, but I believe that with comedy, if you have a good story, 90% of it is casting. Once you get the guys and gals in there, it's pretty easy to make a funny movie.

I'm a huge fan of Chicago sports and Chicago food, and I love going home and my family is still there. I guess it's pretty easy to have a normal life in Chicago.

I know that relationships can be a winding, sometimes unpredictable road... it just seems to me that, if you ever find yourself backed into a corner, and the only way out is a box, that you have sex in, on stage, on live TV... something has gone terribly wrong.

Well, politics is much more severe than entertainment. You have to hit those points, in politics, word for word. You have to remember the date. You have to remember the website. You have to rehearse stories that might be asked, have anecdotes ready for questions that might come up.