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Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Masturbation
Ashamed
Particularly
Proud
Either
Nothing

More quotes by Matt Groening

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Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.
Matt Groening
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You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on. Homer Simpson
Matt Groening
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I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something.
Matt Groening
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I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.'
Matt Groening
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Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons. --Mr. Burns
Matt Groening
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Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.
Matt Groening
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The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.
Matt Groening
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As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me.
Matt Groening
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I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV.
Matt Groening
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I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.
Matt Groening
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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Matt Groening
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Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.
Matt Groening
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How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
Matt Groening
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With Futurama, I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our original plan was never to have Fry and Leela get together, we finally just said, You can only string the fans along so far.
Matt Groening
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My life changed when I was able to not only get seated in nice restaurants, I was given free appetizers. That was like, Oh, my God, I've arrived.
Matt Groening
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It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.
Matt Groening
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'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.
Matt Groening
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Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Matt Groening
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Nihilism in American comedy came along way before 'The Simpsons.' There was a fairly nihilistic point of view to 'Saturday Night Live,' for instance, back in the beginning, and a lot of really dark comedy had a really anti-sentimental take on life.
Matt Groening
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One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself.
Matt Groening