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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Please
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Ones
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More quotes by Matt Groening

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The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not only don't repeat what we've already done, they also don't repeat anything I've seen on television.
Matt Groening
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I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal.
Matt Groening
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Homer no function beer well without.
Matt Groening
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Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.
Matt Groening
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If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
Matt Groening
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I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.
Matt Groening
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I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.
Matt Groening
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The amazing thing about Freak Out! was that there was nothing quite like it in rock 'n roll at the time. It was really simultaneously crude and ugly, and incredibly sophisticated. The Beatles were funny, but there was nothing with the kind of sneer that you could feel in the music of Frank Zappa.
Matt Groening
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When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.
Matt Groening
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Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.
Matt Groening
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I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV.
Matt Groening
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I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
Matt Groening
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The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.
Matt Groening
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When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
Matt Groening
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First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Matt Groening
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'The Simpsons' obviously is a huge success, and Fox has nothing to do with its success, with its creative success, and as a result they don't really like the show. They don't like 'The Simpsons' at Fox.
Matt Groening
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I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something.
Matt Groening
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I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.
Matt Groening
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Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Matt Groening
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For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.
Matt Groening