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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Matt Groening
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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
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Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
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Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Please
Panic
Genitals
Ones
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Withered
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Radiation
Television
Temptation
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Resist
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One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself.
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If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
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Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.
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I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.
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I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something.
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First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
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Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
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I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal.
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Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.
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How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
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Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
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Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
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I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
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I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.'
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It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.
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