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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Loved
Sexual
Radiation
Television
Temptation
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Talk
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Useless
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Left
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Please
Panic
Genitals
Ones
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Withered

More quotes by Matt Groening

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We have 'Doctor Who' references on 'Futurama,' but we have a lot of science fiction references that I don't get but in the staff we have experts on 'Star Trek,' 'Star Wars,' 'Doctor Who' and 'Dungeons and Dragons.'
Matt Groening
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I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.
Matt Groening
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My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitiously, either while we were driving around or at dinner, and in 1963 he and I made up a story about a brother and a sister, Lisa and Matt, having an adventure out in the woods with animals.
Matt Groening
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Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
Matt Groening
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Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.
Matt Groening
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One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor.
Matt Groening
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Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons. --Mr. Burns
Matt Groening
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One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself.
Matt Groening
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I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show.
Matt Groening
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I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
Matt Groening
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A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end.
Matt Groening
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Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
Matt Groening
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This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America! Homer Simpson
Matt Groening
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Everybody is clever, just in their own ways
Matt Groening
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I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something.
Matt Groening
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Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
Matt Groening
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The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.
Matt Groening
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I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd ever get paid for it, didn't think I drew well enough, but I knew it made me happy.
Matt Groening
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I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books?
Matt Groening
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I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.
Matt Groening