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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
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Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
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More quotes by Matt Groening

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Me fail English? That's unpossible.
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How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
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Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.
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One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself.
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Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.
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When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.
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I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.
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If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
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Science fiction and comedy are generally a pretty bumpy mix.
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Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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Did you hear something? No. Did I hear something? ...I don't know.
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I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.
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People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.
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Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.
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I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.
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Welcome to Suckersville, man.
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Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
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Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill
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As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me.
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If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
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