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Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Believe
Make
Like
Eskimos
Gremlins
Elves
Vampires
Hilarious
Vampire

More quotes by Matt Groening

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The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.
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I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.
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The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat.
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I want it to go on, but I want us to go out on top.
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People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.
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Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.
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If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
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The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.
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Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.
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The entire world of grown-ups is corrupt and stupid.
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Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
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I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.
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Me fail English? That's unpossible.
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I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal.
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Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill
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Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Matt Groening
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Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Matt Groening
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This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America! Homer Simpson
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I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show.
Matt Groening
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I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.
Matt Groening