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Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney.

Matt Groening

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Matt Groening
Age: 54
Actor
Animator
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Portland
Oregon
Matthew Abram Groening
Matthew Groening
Tiny
Expectations
Keep
Life

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Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
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The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.
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I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.
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When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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Everybody is clever, just in their own ways
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I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.
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A lot of people believe that if everybody just did what they were told - obeyed - everything would be fine. But that's not what life is all about. That's not real. It's never going to happen.
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Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
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I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.
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Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
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Did you hear something? No. Did I hear something? ...I don't know.
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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
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My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.
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My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitiously, either while we were driving around or at dinner, and in 1963 he and I made up a story about a brother and a sister, Lisa and Matt, having an adventure out in the woods with animals.
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People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.
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The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.
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Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
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Homer no function beer well without.
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If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
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