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Respectability is joining chastity in the museum of dead issues.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Dead
Issues
Respectability
Chastity
Museum
Joining
Museums

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The aphorism: a platitude that swerves, or slides all the way around.
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The real secrets are not the ones I tell.
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To understand a literary style, consider what it omits.
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Creativity is not a substitute for competence.
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The popping of bubblegum discourages the most determined lecher.
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If you belong to the underclass, you are already guilty.
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Profusion gives pleasure up to a point then we become squeamish.
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You are as happy as you think you are, but not necessarily as miserable as you imagine.
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The dignified catastrophes of tragedy bear little resemblance to the slow ruin inflicted by life.
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Cruel impulses stir all about my kindly heart.
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Under attack, sentiments harden into dogma.
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Boredom strives to detach, but finds itself stuck.
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Beauty and virtue: the most kissable ass in the world is no guarantee of good intentions.
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General statements omit what we really want to know. Example: some horses run faster than others.
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Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.
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Prudence does not make people happy it merely deprives them of the excitement of being constantly in trouble.
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After sixty, the self-questioning of middle age is obsolete.
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Journalism never admits that nothing much is happening.
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Prudence does not save us, but shows us pictures of our destroyers.
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Progress may feel more like loss than gain.
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