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If you should ever acknowledge my existence, I plan to snub you.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Snub
Acknowledge
Plan
Plans
Existence
Ever

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I must like my profession, since I can hardly distinguish myself from it.
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If you insist on asking me why I feel the way I do, I plan to take the Fifth Amendment.
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The grand style is available now only in old poems, museums, and parodies.
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A blunt statement can be as false as any other.
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In love, we worry more about the meaning of silences than the meaning of words.
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Language is the friendliest of the things from which we cannot escape.
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Drugs bring us to to the gates of paradise, then keep us from entering.
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Sulking is silent because speaking would reveal its folly.
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A neurotic can neither enjoy his illusions nor give them up.
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Outside books, we avoid colorful characters.
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Life is what it makes you.
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I trust you because I need you.
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The only peace is being out of earshot.
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General statements omit what we really want to know. Example: some horses run faster than others.
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Family romances are the only ones that never turn out happily.
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Attachments and bereavements are inseparable.
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Human society sustains itself by transforming nature into garbage.
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Don Juan tries not to see the skeptical winks that greet his boasting.
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Death is hacking away at my address book and party lists.
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Self-blame usually has an undertone of self-congratulation.
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