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Learned researches lead to headaches, constipation, and befuddled quarreling.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Learning
Constipation
Quarreling
Researches
Headaches
Headache
Research
Lead
Learned
Befuddled

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Literary tradition is full of lies about poverty-the jolly beggar, the poor but happy milkmaid, the wholesome diet of porridge, etc.
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All history and art are against us, but we still expect happiness in love.
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The prison is the state writ small.
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At the dinner table, if you can't think of anything to say, sit quietly. Don't throw rolls, or chew on your napkin.
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Worried about being a dull fellow? You might develop your talent for being irritating.
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Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.
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A fastidious taste is best indoors, away from nature and the city.
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Now that I see you understand me so well, I will avoid you.
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I pursue pleasure, but stingily, suspiciously.
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Self-pity dries up our sympathy for others.
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At the end of every diet, the path curves back to the trough.
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Every time I change the way I explain myself to myself, I have to rearrange the story of my life.
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Without the blessing of cowardice, the world would long since have been torn to bits.
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You are as happy as you think you are, but not necessarily as miserable as you imagine.
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I love you is the inscription on Pandora's box.
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The grand style is available now only in old poems, museums, and parodies.
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A: Everything changes. B: But not enough.
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After rejection - misery, then thoughts of revenge, and finally, oh well, another try elsewhere.
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In love, we worry more about the meaning of silences than the meaning of words.
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People invent gods to explain their suffering.
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