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Money is a better tonic than Geritol.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Tonic
Money
Better

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My father liked to moralize, and so do I. But he was in earnest, while I am embarrassed and pretend that I am merely being witty.
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Irony regards every simple truth as a challenge.
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Opportunity often goes begging. Luck, never.
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Helplessness is a mighty power.
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Every good time that goes on too long turns into a hell.
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Self-blame usually has an undertone of self-congratulation.
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Rule of art: let half-blind purpose lead you.
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Failures are easier to repeat than successes.
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Totem poles and wooden masks no longer suggest tribal villages but fashionable drawing rooms in New York and Paris.
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Old age learns about less after a lifetime of more.
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Why do we never expect dull people to be rascals?
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Austerity causes constipation excess, diarrhea.
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We take refuge in illness and then are trapped there.
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Everything changes as it is written down.
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Who would not give up wit for power and beauty?
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Curiosity, easily frightened, takes refuge in puzzles, murder mysteries, and spectator sports.
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A sure cure for boredom: fast until you are ravenous.
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Those who follow where their genitals lead them often wind up in tedious company.
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Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.
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