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Birth dates and bathroom scales tell more truth than I want to know.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Dates
Bathroom
Scales
Birth
Tell
Truth

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An aphorism that does not score is just one more sentence.
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Lonely people console themselves with self-absorption or curiosity.
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An insult angers me. Being ignored crushes me.
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Innocence: I am only stepping on your face because it lies in my path.
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The hysterical find too much significance in things. The depressed find too little.
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The shades of respectability begin to close about the greying head.
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Weakness is a better teacher than strength. Weakness must learn to understand the obstacles that strength brushes aside.
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The ninety percent of human experience that does not fit into established narrative patterns falls into oblivion.
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In describing someone's character, I reveal my own.
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The dignified catastrophes of tragedy bear little resemblance to the slow ruin inflicted by life.
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Saying I love you makes a demand, but creates no obligations.
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The aftermath of joy is not usually more joy.
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Cynicism often draws correct conclusions, but nobody could live by its lights.
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City people make most of the fuss about the charms of country life.
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The real reality is always just around the corner.
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Looking backward at what has been lost, I feel sad, then indifferent, and at last relieved.
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Pornography supplies the only really safe sex.
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Beauty compels us reason merely cajoles.
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Conscious thought is the tidying up at the end.
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Pity drowns in numbers.
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