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Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.

Mason Cooley

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Mason Cooley
Age: 75 †
Born: 1927
Born: January 1
Died: 2002
Died: July 25
Aphorist
Asleep
Funeral
Birthday
Literature
Age
Friends
Fall
Funerals

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When science drove the gods out of nature, they took refuge in poetry and the porticos of civic buildings.
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Magic trick: to make people disappear, ask them to fulfill their promises.
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To a suicide: You just poisoned the wrong person.
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Being cultured is the least expensive form of respectability.
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Critic's delight: scolding the Mighty Dead.
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In middle age, going naked contributes little to public enjoyment.
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Power makes gods. Virtue makes martyrs.
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When poets go off the boil, they sound like bumble bees when critics do, they sound like sewing machines.
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The realism of failure, the romance of success.
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Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.
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Self-pity makes people callous.
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Thrift is an attractive idea until you get down to specifics.
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Politicians love change, but of details only.
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Arrogance frowns pride smiles.
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Lovers' quarrels are not generally about money. Divorce cases generally are.
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Reading about ethics is about as likely to improve one's behavior as reading about sports is to make one into an athlete.
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The older we become, the more certain our future.
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The ironies in the commonplace are my inspiration and delight.
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The grand style is available now only in old poems, museums, and parodies.
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If you belong to the underclass, you are already guilty.
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