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Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.

MaryJanice Davidson

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MaryJanice Davidson
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: August 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Pink
Wow
Girlfriend
Thought
Life
Incompatible

More quotes by MaryJanice Davidson

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You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!
MaryJanice Davidson
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There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I could have gone to medical school, I said. Except for all the math and stuff.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Zombieland reference, Jon said, nodding. How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference! I looked at laura. I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago. Uh...Betsy... Don't say it. You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.
MaryJanice Davidson
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We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.
MaryJanice Davidson
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You have attained maturity display it for us, if you please.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as— Put that thing down, I said impatiently. I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolf— he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.
MaryJanice Davidson
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They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?
MaryJanice Davidson
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It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.
MaryJanice Davidson
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It's nice to see you again, Laura. Thank you, Mrs. T- No, no, no. Please, my name is- Mud, I suggested. Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short. ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy
MaryJanice Davidson
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I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever.
MaryJanice Davidson
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The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy nuts or PMS nuts. I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend nuts.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Has anyone ever told you that you lack focus?
MaryJanice Davidson
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All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.
MaryJanice Davidson