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Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.

MaryJanice Davidson

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MaryJanice Davidson
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: August 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Girlfriend
Thought
Life
Incompatible
Pink
Wow

More quotes by MaryJanice Davidson

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All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Zombieland reference, Jon said, nodding. How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference! I looked at laura. I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago. Uh...Betsy... Don't say it. You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.
MaryJanice Davidson
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They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.
MaryJanice Davidson
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My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady. Eric's old. I broke in. Really really old. Er— really? Laura asked. Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties. Tons of face-lifts. He's a surgical addict. I'm trying to get him help. I added defensively when they both gave me strange looks.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Has anyone ever told you that you lack focus?
MaryJanice Davidson
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I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.
MaryJanice Davidson
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It's nice to see you again, Laura. Thank you, Mrs. T- No, no, no. Please, my name is- Mud, I suggested. Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short. ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy
MaryJanice Davidson
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Also,I loathe it when you refer to me as dude Eric Sinclair to Betsy
MaryJanice Davidson
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Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as— Put that thing down, I said impatiently. I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolf— he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I've got a folder full of rejection slips that I keep. Know why? Because those same editors are now calling my agent hoping I'll write a book or novella for them. Things change. A rejection slip today might mean a frantic call to your agent in six months.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?
MaryJanice Davidson
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Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?
MaryJanice Davidson
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We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.
MaryJanice Davidson
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I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever.
MaryJanice Davidson
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It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening. I strolled and hummed, trying to project Innocent Victim.
MaryJanice Davidson
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There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.
MaryJanice Davidson
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Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!
MaryJanice Davidson