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I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.
MaryJanice Davidson
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MaryJanice Davidson
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: August 1
Author
Novelist
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Truly
Pigeons
Sweet
Shoe
Looking
Blonde
Take
Department
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Measure
Thinking
Everywhere
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Shoes
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Civilization
Pigeon
More quotes by MaryJanice Davidson
They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.
MaryJanice Davidson
My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady. Eric's old. I broke in. Really really old. Er— really? Laura asked. Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties. Tons of face-lifts. He's a surgical addict. I'm trying to get him help. I added defensively when they both gave me strange looks.
MaryJanice Davidson
The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy nuts or PMS nuts. I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend nuts.
MaryJanice Davidson
There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.
MaryJanice Davidson
Zombieland reference, Jon said, nodding. How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference! I looked at laura. I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago. Uh...Betsy... Don't say it. You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.
MaryJanice Davidson
It's nice to see you again, Laura. Thank you, Mrs. T- No, no, no. Please, my name is- Mud, I suggested. Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short. ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy
MaryJanice Davidson
Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!
MaryJanice Davidson
I could have gone to medical school, I said. Except for all the math and stuff.
MaryJanice Davidson
Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?
MaryJanice Davidson
Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as— Put that thing down, I said impatiently. I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.
MaryJanice Davidson
We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.
MaryJanice Davidson
... friends are such a mixed blessing.
MaryJanice Davidson
I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.
MaryJanice Davidson
I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever.
MaryJanice Davidson
Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?
MaryJanice Davidson
Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.
MaryJanice Davidson
She couldn't tell where his pupils ended and the irises began looking into those eyes was like looking into a well where children had drowned.
MaryJanice Davidson
I've got a folder full of rejection slips that I keep. Know why? Because those same editors are now calling my agent hoping I'll write a book or novella for them. Things change. A rejection slip today might mean a frantic call to your agent in six months.
MaryJanice Davidson
He snarled at me. This isn't over yet, Betsy. Excellent, I said. I would also have accepted 'You haven't seen the last of me' and 'You'll regret this'.
MaryJanice Davidson
Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.
MaryJanice Davidson
