Quote

And so I am feeling numb. It's a curious feeling, and I get it all the time. My attention to the world around me disappears, and something starts to hum inside my head. Far off, voices try to bump up against me, but I repel them. My ears fill up with water and I focus on the humming in my head.

Marya Hornbacher

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Marya Hornbacher
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: April 4
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Writer
Minneapolis
Minnesota
Something
Head
Voices
Numbness
Time
Feeling
Fill
Humming
World
Attention
Starts
Bump
Water
Curious
Bumps
Voice
Disappear
Detachment
Feelings
Ears
Numb
Around
Inside
Disappears
Trying
Focus
Emptiness
Repel

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My students know I have a life, they know I've written about my life. They know some detail, probably more than they know about their physics teacher, but I would've told them anyway!
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And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back.
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I mean, we all know the dangers of starving, but bulimia? That can't be that bad. It's only bad when you get really thin. Who worries about bulimics? They're just gross.
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I had a love affair with books, with characters and their words. Books kept me company. When the voices of the book faded, as with the last long chord of a record, the back cover crinkling closed, I could swear I heard a door click shut.
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The anoretic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions.
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We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.
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