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Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.
Martha Beck
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Martha Beck
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 29
Author
Journalist
Sociologist
Provo
Utah
Hurt
Mistakes
Enemy
Save
Narcissists
Anyone
Behavior
Narcissist
World
Deal
Awaits
Friend
Spot
Deals
Spots
Learning
Destructive
Mistake
Near
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Recurrent floods of sadness and anger gradually wash away the rubble of the defunct relationship, leaving only the bits of treasure: the remembered moments of real communion, a new understanding of your own mistakes, a clear picture of the dysfunctions you will never tolerate again.
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Forcing yourself to think happy lies doesn't heal your dreams. Getting to the truth does.
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Though we often see life troughs as the universe's conspiracy to ruin us, they're actually our own true nature inviting us to lay down our weary heads.
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Don’t worry that you’ve wasted time. Each moment -- no matter how frozen or confused -- was a useful and necessary lesson.
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My point is that perceptual bias can affect nut jobs and scientists alike. If we hold too rigidly to what we think we know, we ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change our mind.
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If you feel stuck in your present life, if you feel no enthusiasm for anything, if you think you have no purpose or that you lost that purpose somewhere along the way, I guarantee you are living in a dungeon made of stories. And that none of those limiting stories are true.
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At times in my life, I have been utterly lonely. At other times, I've had disgusting infectious diseases. Try admitting these things in our culture.
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You get social pressure from your parents, who teach you to pay attention to certain things and not to others. You get it in school.
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A confession you make merely to illuminate the murky corners of your little life may end up lighting the path to freedom for a thousand other hearts.
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Use anything you can think of to understand and be understood, and you'll discover the creativity that connects you with others.
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Most of our stress and suffering come not from events, but from our thoughts. Reframe from negative thoughts, and stress subsides.
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Standards of beauty are arbitrary. Body shame exists only to the extent that our physiques don't match our own beliefs about how we should look.
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Good fortune has side effects.
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Many of us assume that we have to do things a certain way: ignore passion in favor of safer bets, act stoic amid inner turmoil, run on an upward trajectory of success and money acquisition at any emotional cost. But these are not rules.
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Anyone who comes into your life, under any circumstances, has something to teach you.
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You shine for who you are ... because no one can steal your light.
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Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.
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The heart is a tender but hardy organ. Daring to have a wonderful experience, even though you may get hurt, is the only way you'll realize its deepest desires.
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What should you do now? Find a new way. A better way. Your way. The unknown, uncharted path through this wild new world that allows you---yourself, in your uniqueness--to reclaim the full measure of your true nature.
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Your individuality is the most valuable thing you have.
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