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Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.

Martha Beck

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Martha Beck
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 29
Author
Journalist
Sociologist
Provo
Utah
Kind
Heartbreak
Really
Instance
Love
Healing
Lessons
Creating
Teach
Powerful
Every

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There has never been, and never will be, anyone who sees, thinks, or responds exactly the way you do. Whether you’re revolutionizing physics or making a quilt, you must display your differences to make a difference.
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Criticism is an alluring substitute for creation, because tearing things down, unlike building them up, really is as easy as falling off a stump. It's blissfully simple to strike a savvy, sophisticated pose by attacking someone else's creations, but the old adage is right: Any fool can burn down a barn. Building one is something else again.
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The past doesn’t exist except as a memory, a mental story, and though past events aren’t changeable, your stories about them are. You can act now to transform the way you tell the story of your past, ultimately making it a stalwart protector of your future.
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The important thing is to tell yourself a life story in which you, the hero, are primarily a problem solver rather than a helpless victim. This is well within your power, whatever fate might have dealt you.
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Imagine the choices you'd make if you had no fear-of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.
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Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.
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I've developed the habit of mentally listing things that make me optimistic about the future. I do it every day.
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Use anything you can think of to understand and be understood, and you'll discover the creativity that connects you with others.
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The really potent part of love is that it allows you to carry around beliefs about yourself that make you feel special, desirable, precious, innately good. Your lover couldn't have seen [these qualities] in you, even temporarily, if they weren't part of your essential being.
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You will never realize your best destiny through the avoidance of fear. Rather, you will realize it through the exercise of courage, which means taking whatever action is most liberating to the soul, even when you are afraid.
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Most of our stress and suffering come not from events, but from our thoughts. Reframe from negative thoughts, and stress subsides.
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What should you do now? Find a new way. A better way. Your way. The unknown, uncharted path through this wild new world that allows you---yourself, in your uniqueness--to reclaim the full measure of your true nature.
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Recurrent floods of sadness and anger gradually wash away the rubble of the defunct relationship, leaving only the bits of treasure: the remembered moments of real communion, a new understanding of your own mistakes, a clear picture of the dysfunctions you will never tolerate again.
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I want you to be supervised, all day every day, by people who forgive your errors and believe in your destiny.
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Slow is fast, gentle is powerful and stillness moves mountains
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People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures.
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If you'd rather live surrounded by pristine objects than by the traces of happy memories, stay focused on tangible things. Otherwise, stop fixating on stuff you can touch and start caring about stuff that touches you.
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If a problem looks difficult, relax. If it looks impossible, relax even more. Then begin encouraging small changes, putting just enough pressure on yourself to move one turtle step forward. Then rest, savor, celebrate. Then step again. You’ll find that slow is fast, gentle is powerful, and stillness moves mountains.
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Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.
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