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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today's and tomorrow's children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg