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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
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Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
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When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.
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You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
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Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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