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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Developing
Communication
Compassion
Use
May
Self
Important

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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
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They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
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It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.
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Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
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Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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