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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
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What bores the listener bores the speaker too.
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
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Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
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My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.
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Classifying and judging people promotes violence.
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Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
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Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg