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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Hear
Pain
Feelings
Persons
Person
Need
Connect
Needs
Communication
Never
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we judge others we contribute to violence.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
Marshall B. Rosenberg