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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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When we judge others we contribute to violence.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today's and tomorrow's children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.
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Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
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Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.
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Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
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As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
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Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
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To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
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Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.
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Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
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