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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
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Nonviolent Communication is a way of keeping our consciousness tuned in moment by moment to that beauty within ourselves and others, and not saying anything that we think might in any way tarnish people's consciousness of their own beauty.
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We are designed for Giving
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Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
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People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
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NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
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NO is always a YES to something else.
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