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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Needs are the expression of life through us.
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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
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Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
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To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.
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They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
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It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.
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Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
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Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
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It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
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Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.
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Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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