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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg
We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
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When we judge others we contribute to violence.
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Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.
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Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
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Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
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Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
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We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.
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As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.
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Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
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My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
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Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
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