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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg