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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A need is life seeking expression within us.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A respectful understanding of another's experience.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that support the development of autonomy and interdependence in the classroom.
Marshall B. Rosenberg