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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Focusing
Likely
Mets
Communication
Judgment
Need
Needs
Unmet

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
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If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
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I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NO is always a YES to something else.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We need empathy to give empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg