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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Unmet
Focusing
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Mets
Communication
Judgment
Need
Needs

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
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To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
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Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.
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NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
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In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
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Classifying and judging people promotes violence.
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What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A respectful understanding of another's experience.
Marshall B. Rosenberg