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The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg